Like Attracts Like

12 Dec

You hear this as a child, but don’t get it. I didn’t get it as a teenager or even in my 20’s. When I hit my 30’s, I started noticing this to be true. Since that time I have experienced different time periods in my life where once I removed a toxic person from my life, I saw how I had started to become like them, like something I didn’t want to be.

Recently, I watched an acting tip video by Amy Berman about social media. She also said that like attracts like. Previous to watching this I noticed that there was a specific trend of people that I was attracting on my Facebook page. I didn’t particularly like their comments, so I took this advice to heart. I started mixing it up a little bit. I kept doing some thoughtful posts, in which the thinkers could respond to. I’m a thinker, so I couldn’t erase this completely from my Facebook page. It would be erasing a part of me.

I began remembering back to the type of person that I was as a teen and a young adult. While immature, there was a part of me that was free and happy. So I began shaking off some things that some people were saying that I didn’t feel we’re true to who I am. I began to speak thoughtful things that were more light. I still like debating the heavy things occasionally, though. I like balance.

Recently, I have watched someone make a public, crazy rambling on Facebook trying to defame someone else. This person writes in an erratic, crazy, and volatile way. Most of the people who respond on their page on these types of posts seem erratic and volatile too. Some even threatened to come to beat up or shoot the person she is defaming. Crazy!

The same goes for people who write political posts that are based on something they heard somewhere else. They mostly get people responding who base their opinions on hear-say, instead of facts also. Anyone who brings facts into it, gets jumped on like a wounded animal by a pack of ravenous wolves. So, I guess it’s true:

Like attracts like.

About Me: Three Things I Love Rolled Into One

11 Dec

I love 30’s/40’s vintage clothing and look.

I love dancing, and I’m pretty darn good at it.

I love 30’s/40’s music.

Back when I was in college I not only received scholarships for academics and music, but I also received them for dance.  (More so, actually. It pretty much covered most of my tuition. No student debt here!  Very nice.)   I choreographed two pieces set to 40’s music for the Dance Force team at Lincoln College.  I’m going to have to see if I can get ahold of the videos of those performances, as well as the ones that I actually danced in too.  I’d like to see the music recitals too, when I had to sing opera…. while pregnant. ;)

Here’s video of those three things that I love, as well as one of my favorite movies:

Fear of Failure/Fear of Success

10 Dec

I’ve had change on my mind a lot lately.   In order to change, people have to learn from the past.  They have to get rid of the fears that stifle them, the bitterness that poisons them, and the people that like to keep them there. Fear in particular is a huge detractor from success.

I had a set of recent circumstances make me think about fear.  In one circumstance, I’ve watched someone I love very much struggle with fear.  It incapacitates her and prevents her talent from being known to more people.  It keeps her inside her house, hidden away.  It causes her to see things from a skewed perspective.  In another circumstance, I’ve seen two women fear things that are ridiculous and only imaginable in their own minds.  Their fears hold them back too, because they are so afraid of losing success that they find enemies where there are none.  Their paranoia makes them see things from a very deluded perspective.  My particular set of fearful circumstances deals with a number of things, a couple of which are real threats, and the others I am pretty sure that I can conquer with willpower.

The real threats are personal and I won’t get into them publicly.  The other fears I occasionally struggle with now are actually quite contradictory, but I’ve found that somehow they are connected.  They are the fear of failure and the fear of success.  The fear of failure will keep you from finding success, because it prevents you from trying new things.  And the fear of success I think is often disguised by the fear of failure.  What looks like a fear of failure and immobility can actually be a fear of success.  Someone doesn’t do much with their career seemingly because they are afraid of failure. But really what it comes down to is a fear of success.

Who would be afraid of success?

Um, that’d be me.

For years I piddled around with my music.  From 2004 to 2011, I slowly did things.  I released an EP that was getting substantial airplay in Illinois, but I didn’t go gig.  I didn’t promote it as far as I could have.  Part of this was just me being green to the industry, but there was something deep down that was afraid to succeed.  I knew it too.  I understood that I was afraid to succeed because it was engrained into me as a child by church leadership that people at the top of the music industry all lived a lie, were never happy, always got divorces, their kids grew up crazy or derelict, etc.  I was afraid that the industry would change me. (It has in some ways, but that is another blog.)

I’ve talked about this before, but I decided to devote 2012 to making my music successful.  As far as our budget could handle, I went all out with how I released it.  I did more gigs that year than I ever did.  I sent my music out to press and got reviews.  I ended up getting signed, although that was more providential than anything.  I had some success.  That opened my eyes, so-to-speak, to the fact that success doesn’t destroy everything.  I still am the honest person I always have been.  I am still in love with my husband/best friend.  Our marriage is stronger than ever.  I’m not at the top, but my life is rather quixotic, minus some jealous idiots.

Now I realize that my choices in the midst of success can cause destruction or happiness. Success itself doesn’t do it.  Now, I look forward to the future.  I have come such a LONG way in the past year, mostly due to GOOD choices in whom I spend my time with.  The label has helped me see my value too.  I will always appreciate that– big-time success or not.

 

IndieVille TV Taping

6 Dec

Today I got the privilege of getting interviewed on IndieVille TV, which will be aired in Nashville and Chattanooga, beginning in 2015.

This morning, I squeezed into my black pleather skirt, did my hair, put on a make-up face, and then headed to Nashville for the taping.  When I arrived, a few other bands had already started their interviews. Most were really edgy, cool kids.  Then there was me… home-schooling Mom of 5, dirt-under-my-non-manicured-and-unpainted-gardener fingernails, canning-for-the-apocalypse-that-isn’t-here, kind-of lady.

Right before the interview, I met Tabitha, a spunky redhead who is one of the show’s hosts.  She’s a sweet gal too.  Then I went directly into the interview and promoted my music, my video and also plugged the the label I’m signed to, Creative & Dreams.

Here are a couple of pics that were taken right after the interview:

IndieVille 1

IndieVille 2

Here is a little video about my thoughts afterwards:

I’ll update you when it airs!

My Slowed-Down, Bluesy Version of “Jolene”

5 Dec

I kind of thought “Jolene” by Dolly Parton would be a good song to try to slow down and make bluesy, so I tried it.  I recorded it from my crappy computer program with its crummy computer mic, but I think it still turned out well.

Little funny: You can hear the dog’s rabies tags jingling at the end, as well as my phone notifying me of an incoming message.  They are nearly on beat.  Not quite, but almost.  Way to go, Rufus! :)

Rufus

Rufus

Love Story- Part 3

20 Nov

Why is Eric calling me?  is the thought that ran through my mind when I picked up the telephone and he was on the other line.  I remember him acting nervous, which isn’t like him at all.  He is gregarious and easy-going, generally.

“I’m not usually this nervous.  Why am I so nervous?” he blurted out.

“I don’t know.”

He beat around the bush for a few minutes and then finally asked me out on a date the following evening.  I agreed and the phone call ended.

I sat down with my younger brother after the call and talked to him about it.  He mentioned to me that he liked Eric best out of all of the guys that went to our church.  I thought that was sweet of him.  When I talked to my Dad about it, his first reaction was wondering if Eric had a job, and where, and if he could financially take care of.  My mom’s reaction was that she wasn’t surprised, because she had dreamed a dream that Eric and I got married just before that.

The next night Eric picked me up and we went to Bloomington to Ned Kelley’s Steakhouse.  I was too embarrassed to pick whatever I wanted so I ordered the cheapest thing I could find on the entree menu.  Eric kept insisting that I pick whatever I wanted, but I didn’t mind having pork chops.  After we ate, we headed across the road to Grady’s which is a small family amusement park.  We decided to play mini-golf.

Something about me is that I am very strong, and sometimes don’t control my strength very well.  It surprises people sometimes, but it especially did back then when I was a size 6/8.  Well…. while playing mini-golf, I sort of hit the golf ball way too hard.  And it kind of did a line-drive across the mini-golf park, making people duck, striking the Statue of Liberty statue in the head, and ricocheting back, where more people ran out of the way.  I was mortified, speechless from embarrassment.  Eric was laughing and apologizing to people.  I thought that he’d drop me off and never ask me out again.  (Note: I’m much better at mini-golf now.  No people are in danger when I am around.  I do have a daughter very much like me though…)

After the game, he was dropping me off when Mom said that there was a pool party at a friend’s house in the same subdivision as ours.  I thought Eric would just leave, but then he suggested we go together.  It ended up being a statement to everyone we knew that we were dating.  That next month we were inseparable.  When we weren’t hanging out at his sister’s house, we were going on dates or talking for hours on the phone after he got off of work.

Mid-July, we were eating out a local restaurant when Eric told me that he loved me for the first time.  I told him a day later over the phone.  By the time my birthday rolled around, we both were very sure that we were going to get married.  We were waiting to get engaged so he could talk to my family beforehand.  My mom was in Europe for a missions trip and didn’t get back until around August.

But as soon as she got back, Eric sat down with my parents and me in my parents’ living room.  He asked permission to marry me.  Dad cried.  Mom cried.  Eric cried.  I smiled.  I’m tearing up now.  My family was 100% behind us getting married.

Now to wait until Eric asked me…

Love Story- Part 2

6 Nov

“I’ll never marry a girl who wears men’s clothes,” he said to me, a cocky smirk on his lips.

“Well, I guess you aren’t supposed to marry me,” I retorted back in my sassy, self-assured way.

That was a conversation between my now-husband and me, about a year before we started dating.

Fast-forward, to May 1997, to a trip the mime team was taking to a nursing home. We had done our pieces and I was heading out the door, when I noticed Eric praying with an elderly woman. I had the thought that Eric would make a good husband to someone. I didn’t think about myself with that thought though. I had known Eric all my life. He seemed like a nice guy, a bit cheesy in his humor, but a kind soul. Despite my wondering if he had a girlfriend when I was ten years old, I hadn’t thought of him that way as a high schooler.

Some people have special spiritual moments in their life, when God seems to speak to them, and give them some sort of epiphany that changes their life. That day, I had never heard the voice of God seem to speak to me so strongly. I know that this revelation may freak people out, but I am so sure of hearing from God that day that I’ll risk it. I was walking to the church van, when I heard the words, “You’re going to marry Eric Kopp.” At that very moment, Eric was walking in front of me. It was like he had a spotlight on him.

A week later, he went out on a date with my friend, who later that year became our county fair queen. She is beautiful, sweet, kind, and giving. I started to doubt what I heard a bit…. Already. But he only went out on one date with her. He told me later that it just didn’t feel right.

A month later, in June, the mime team was on another trip. This time we were headed to Indiana to tape our mime performances for a children’s show there. On the way there, I found that I was seated directly in front of Eric. So, I turned around and he talked to me the entire way up, about 3 hours. On the way back, everyone pretty much sat in the same seat. Eric talked to me on the way back to. I listened.

A funny happening that occurred on the way back was another team member asking Eric if he had found his wife yet. (Everyone knew he was looking.) I remember thinking, “Me!”, when this person asked this. I didn’t react though. I’m not a flirt. I never have been. The extent of my not flirting in high school resulted in a rumor going around that I might possibly be interested in females instead of males. The real truth was that I didn’t want to toy around with anyone, except the person I was meant to be with. I didn’t flirt with anyone, because I believe that flirting can be manipulative and sometimes misleading. I don’t think it is nice to do that to people. I didn’t then either. I wasn’t going to resort to flirting with Eric to capture him. I was just going to be myself. I knew what God told me. I knew that He would take care of it. He did.

Within one week, Eric called me to ask me out on a date. The reason he thought of me? I listened to him- like, REALLY listened, as if I cared. That impressed him enough to call me.

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